He’s a familiar face in the halls of Providence Care Hospital.
As a volunteer, Steve Myers helps out at the welcome desk, in the café and he even gives guided tours of the hospital.
If someone is in need, the 54-year-old is the type of man to lend a helping hand.
But eight years ago, he was the one in need.
In March 2011, Myers seemingly had it all; a loving wife and family, and a great job as a restaurant manager.
But that didn’t stop depression from creeping in.
“Things were going really, really good, but I was afraid I couldn’t keep exceeding,” Myers explained. “I just felt like I couldn’t keep this up. I didn’t want my family or employees see me fail.”
Myers decided he would take his own life.
“I woke up one morning, I waited for my wife to go to work, for my sons to go to school, and I decided I was going to get out while the going was good.”
Myers was unsuccessful, but that didn’t stop him from trying again.
“I tried to take my life 10 times in eight years. Seven of those times were within the first two years.”
Myers’ illness got worse. He developed anxiety on top of his depression.
“I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to ask for help or share my feelings. I ended up isolating myself at home. I was embarrassed what people would think when they found out I tried to take my life and failed.”
During a stay at Kingston General Hospital, Myers was referred to Providence Care’s Community High Intensity Treatment Team.
A dozen highly skilled and dedicated clinicians supported Myers, including Dave Carmichael, an Occupational Therapist with Providence Care.
“Anxiety and depression take life’s energy away. You don’t have the energy to leave, but the anxiety creates a prison as well,” Carmichael explained. “Steve is an amazing and courageous person. He is also a very anxious human being, so we had to build that therapeutic relationship.”
It started with Carmichael visiting Myers in his home, for coffee.
“He would come at least once a week. At times we wouldn’t even talk. We would just sit there,” Myers recalled. “He just kept coming and eventually I started opening up to him.”
But recovery takes time.
It took two years before Myers was willing to leave his home.
The pair decided to meet for double doubles at a local coffee shop.
But Myers was still anxious.
“I was worried about running into someone I knew and being asked ‘how are you doing?’ or ‘what are you doing now?’ Those questions would automatically make me think that they knew what happened to me and I would have been embarrassed.”
“A large part of what we were doing was finding suitable explanations for Steve,” Carmichael added. “We were working through role plays, how to explain oneself, saying things like ‘I’m not working, but here’s what I am doing.”
Myers quickly learned he could manage his anxiety if he controlled conversations.
“I would initiate a conversation with a ‘how are you?’ so they couldn’t ask me ‘what are you doing now?’ or ‘how are you feeling?”
“Initially it was about helping Steve push the boundaries with his anxiety, so that he could get out of the house. Then it was helping Steve set goals,” Carmichael explained.
“These are all Steve’s goals, not Dave’s goals. So we’re moving at Steve’s pace and in a direction Steve wants to go.”
It would be another two years before Myers would be ready to take the next step with Carmichael: visiting his old restaurant.
“That was another big step because I knew I was going to a place where people knew me, and possibly even knew what I had attempted. I was really worried about what they would think of me,” Myers said.
“But I did it. And some people were surprised to see me and happy to see me. We still go visit to this day.”
Another tool that helps Myers during his road to recovery is his journey graph.
“You can see how I have progressed from March 2011, all the way to September 2018. It shows the more I started to do, the better I became. It shows me that I can be content or even happy.”
Myers started volunteering with Providence Care in January 2018.
“It’s a safe working environment. I’m not afraid if someone comes through that door, what they think of me because there is no judgement here.”
In addition to his weekly meetings with Carmichael, Myers also takes medication daily and he sees his psychiatrist, Dr. Martin Feakins, once a month.
“He’s the type of client every clinician lives for. This is a man who couldn’t leave his house, he now leaves his house at will and he’s thoroughly exploring his wish to help other people,” Carmichael said. “The kind of effort he’s made to achieve these goals, is just amazing,”
Myers also credits his family for their support and sticking by him.
“I think I’m more focused on my family than I ever was. My wife said I am the most important person in her life and she would be devastated if I were to go, and she really likes the person I have become.”
His advice for others who might be struggling with depression or anxiety: confide in someone you trust.
“Try to share your feelings with your family or friends. It’s what I should have done.”
It’s been hard work, but Myers said he’s improving every day.
Even opening up and sharing his story for this article was a big step for the 54-year-old.
“I’m not as embarrassed anymore. I have an illness and I have people I can count on for my illness.”
But the work isn’t done.
Myers hopes the experience he’s gaining from volunteering at Providence Care will help him with his next goal: to reenter the workforce.
Listen Now: Myers and Carmichael joined Rebecca Fryer with 98.3 FLY FM on Bell Let’s Talk Day, to discuss Myers’ road to recovery.
Gerry Walker says
Well Done Steve !
I’m well versed re depression. Way back, I absolutely needed hospitalization due to the stresses of an important, hi-vis job. It took several weeks for me to open up and after 3 months I resumed that job. I’m rather proud of how it unfolded over the next couple of years.
Symptoms reappeared 13 years later, I took early action, was admitted for 3 or 4 weeks (returning home ea wkend) and was rarin’ to go.
Would you believe that another 13 years past when I again recognized similar symptoms? I saw a psychiatrist and was hospitalized for a one week assessment. Three months later I was discharged primarily due to the effectiveness of “shock” treatments.
Eighteen years have now passed, with a few short periods of “down” time. During all of these experiences, the support of my Wife was both essential and superb !!
So Steve, I’m not sure if this “stuff” ever fully disappears, but I do know that taking action on initial symptoms plus opening up will provide needed results.
Aren’t Wives GREAT !!